I had a great day today. I took less ibuprofen for back pain. With the help of hiring the right people, I got some much needed yardwork and landscaping done (3 trees gone, branches pruned, bushes trimmed, beds weeded and mulched). I went with a friend and had my first pedicure. I bought some pretty hanging baskets for my porch. I spent a leisurely hour at Borders.

Being home alone has its pleasures. I've had some strange meals lately as I've grazed through the refrigerator. One day I dipped raw broccoli in hummus, had Fontina on crackers,  ate a bowl of blueberries, and ended the meal with several handfuls of dry Froot Loops for dessert. Tonight I made a vegetable soup from a dried soup mix, had a salad and a bowl of cherries. None of these would ever appear on the table for a meal with my husband, including the trip to Chipotle I made this week!

My eating times have become fluid, happening whenever it fits in and I am hungry. This is not the case when I am eating with others.

I don't have to worry if the music on the stereo is too loud/ too raucous/ of unappealing genre for my husband.

I can make a mess, and leave it until I am ready to clean it up.

However, there are downsides too. The biggest being that a shared pleasure is much greater than one experienced alone. Plus I am suddenly aware of how easily a single person could get left alone. I don't have a built-in companion to a movie or a meal or the fireworks. Across the long-term, I am sure I would stagger under the burden of being responsibile for all the upkeep and running of the house and car etc. - especially given my physical limitations due to back pain.

But for now, I am enjoying this brief time of selfishness.

At the risk of offending my conservative brothers and sisters, I would like to ask what the point is of vitriolic attacks against President Obama?

When I became a believer almost 12 years ago Clinton was president. Up to that time I had voted primarily Democrat and held moderate to liberal postitions on most issues. My "formative" years as a baby believer occurred while such things as the Monica Lewinsky affair were unfolding. By far the majority of my life as a believer has been under the Bush presidency. I grew tired of the rants and tirades against Bush, and often felt the one ranting was way out in left-field, off the deep end, and ought easily be dismissed because of the shrillness.

Now I sadly read the words of folks who are, I assume, of a conservative bent similar to mine, ranting and raving about how Obama is ruining the country, and I have a similar response. You sound like an idiot. I know the editorial pages are the playground of the extreme, but I have to believe that a point is rather more well-made when presented with logic and calm.

Call me simplistic (or perhaps merely simple), but Bush didn't run the country single-handedly, nor does Obama. The president has power and influence, but he is not a dictator. And certainly, God is sovereign over all.

I'm reading through 2 Kings, and it is clear that God uses bad leaders as well as good.

Control

Control is an illusion for the most part. The only way most people make it through a day without major anxiety is by believing they are in control of what is happening in their lives.

A good friend has gone into an understandable tailspin when her mother recently informed her that she (the mother) has lung cancer which has probably spread to the liver. Both of my parents died of cancer (my mom from lung cancer at age 58, and my dad of pancreatic cancer at age 81). I remember having my mind click into a calm, rational mode aimed at addressing the situation with clarity and effectiveness (the facade of control). But underneath it all my emotions had climbed onto the roller coaster, and were stuck on the ride until the end (no control). 

Even when a crisis is not looming, the truth is that one could strike at any moment. My husband and I were nearly t-boned at an intersection a few weeks ago when a large pick-up truck ran a red light. Most of us remember the feeling of the world as we know it shifting as we watched the unfolding of 9-11.

I honestly don't know how people who don't know God handle it. I have the comfort of knowing that He is in control. I didn't know the Lord when my mom died, and I suppose I accepted it as unchangeable - just one of those things, and then hid back behind my false sense of control and security.

My friend doesn't know the Lord. How can I point her toward Him at this sensitive time? Perhaps the best I can do is be there for her. 

Here is a quilt I finished recently. I had trouble uploading the pictures of some others, but will get the photos up if I can. Quilting has been my therapy this summer. When it seems I am unproductive and incapcitated (or at least it feels that way) because of my pain issues, I sew for a bit. I enjoy it and have something to show for my time. I am so thankful I can still do it for 30 - 60 minutes at a time. Since school let out I have finished or almost finished (just whip stitching the binding down) 5 quilts, 4 of which are crib quilts. Here's another one.

As I approach my 53rd birthday, and have two active college students in my life, I find myself wanting to tell them things like, "Enjoy your freedom, health, life (etc. - fill in the blank) while you can, because you don't know what the future holds." There's an old saying that youth is wasted on the young, and I don't remember being particularly thankful for all the blessings of youth while I was in the midst of it.

I'm not sure why I even think such things, though I suspect the thoughts come less from my concerns about my children than about the twists and turns in my own life. My children are, as far as I can tell, living full, productive, joyful lives.

And honestly, what would I expect such advice to accomplish? What if someone told me I should enjoy my life right now because when I'm 65 I'm going to be in a wheelchair? That would just depress me.

None of us knows what the future will bring (and a good thing too). Yes - enjoy the moment, enjoy the blessings God has bestowed in that moment. What more can I ask for?

On a different note, I read a funny piece about parents who clip articles and send them to their adult children. My mother-in-law was a champ at this, and often we had not a clue why she had sent a particular article. The piece conjectured that the parents were trying to continue parenting via the clippings. I would suggest another motive. I think it's an effort to connect, but it is hidden beneath the more acceptable objective of communicqting "important" information. I have not sent clippings to my kids yet, though I've set aside an article or two for my son to check out when he comes home for a visit. I do it because I hope I know what interests him and giving him a tidbit that might interest him seems like a small gift. I do it because maybe we can talk about it.

I imagine some parents are tryng to send important info, and perhaps they think their child will heed it if it comes from an expert in an article (as versus them). How many of you parents tried to teach your kids a lesson which was ignored, and then the same lesson comes from another source and it is embraced as wonderful wisdom?