I had a great day today. I took less ibuprofen for back pain. With the help of hiring the right people, I got some much needed yardwork and landscaping done (3 trees gone, branches pruned, bushes trimmed, beds weeded and mulched). I went with a friend and had my first pedicure. I bought some pretty hanging baskets for my porch. I spent a leisurely hour at Borders.

Being home alone has its pleasures. I've had some strange meals lately as I've grazed through the refrigerator. One day I dipped raw broccoli in hummus, had Fontina on crackers,  ate a bowl of blueberries, and ended the meal with several handfuls of dry Froot Loops for dessert. Tonight I made a vegetable soup from a dried soup mix, had a salad and a bowl of cherries. None of these would ever appear on the table for a meal with my husband, including the trip to Chipotle I made this week!

My eating times have become fluid, happening whenever it fits in and I am hungry. This is not the case when I am eating with others.

I don't have to worry if the music on the stereo is too loud/ too raucous/ of unappealing genre for my husband.

I can make a mess, and leave it until I am ready to clean it up.

However, there are downsides too. The biggest being that a shared pleasure is much greater than one experienced alone. Plus I am suddenly aware of how easily a single person could get left alone. I don't have a built-in companion to a movie or a meal or the fireworks. Across the long-term, I am sure I would stagger under the burden of being responsibile for all the upkeep and running of the house and car etc. - especially given my physical limitations due to back pain.

But for now, I am enjoying this brief time of selfishness.